It’s Whiskey Flat time again and time to look at our Mayoral Candidates and ask ourselves, "What's in it for me?" I have taken the time to look over each of our candidates and jotted down some of their keener points of assertion that I think folks might find important enough to consider a vote or two for.
First there is Cimmeron Cynthia, aside from being the prettiest candidate to look at, she has quite the bargaining chip with her offer of half price on enemas during her full term as Mayor.
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Then there is TenderFoot Tony. Now he tends to wink when he tells of his big deals so I'm not sure how much stock can be placed in his word, but he has implied that his prize bull will be available for siring and those folks who vote for him can just bring their heifers on by day or night and see if the two can come to a mutual understanding. (If you get my meaning. Wink wink, oh, I did it too.)
Lastly is one TurnCoat Chris. Let me just start by saying as a reporter I must maintain my independence and not play favorites, but I can't help myself. This here fella is a real honest as Lincoln anarchist. He's promising big things for all of us. He promises to keep those Federalies from coming into our valley and forcing big changes on us. Things like blasting out our hot springs. Heck, where are we to go for a hot bath in these parts if they blast our hot springs? And he's talking about getting the stage coach to run even on the Sabbath so we can make it all the way to Canebrake for a revival or baptism. I'll stop here or I'm likely to sway my reader's opinion.
Each candidate has a very worthy cause they are running for and truly it doesn't matter who you vote for, in theses parts, its how many times you vote that counts, so Keep on Voting!
In case readers couldn’t tell, Kernville Jill is TurnCoat Chris’ campaign manager. We look forward to weeekly contributions from candidates and/or their campaign managers
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